Trapped In The Drive-Thru is the eleventh song on Straight Outta Lynwood. It is a parody of "Trapped In The Closet" by R. Kelly.

Here are the lyrics to Trapped in the Drive-Thru:

7:00 in the evening, watchin' somethin' stupid on TV

I'm zoned out on the sofa

When my wife comes in the room and sees me

And she says "Is this ?Behind the Music with Lynyrd Skynyrd?"

And I say "I don't know, say it's getting late,

What'cha wanna do for dinner?"

She says, "I kinda had a big lunch so I'm not super hungry"

I said, "Baby, you know I'm not starving either, but I could eat"

She says, "So what do you have in mind?"

I said, "I don't know, what about you?"

She says "I don't care, if your hungry, lets eat"

I said "That's what we're gonna do

But first you gotta tell me what it is you're hungry for"

And she says, "Let me think what's left in our refrigerator"

I said, "Well there's tuna, I know"

She said, "That went bad a week ago"

I said, "Is the chili okay?"

She said "You finished that yesterday"
I hopped up and said

"I don't know, do you want to get something delivered

And shes like "Why would I want to eat liver? I don't even like liver"

I'm like, "No, I said delivered."

She's like, "I heard you say liver"
I'm like, "I should know what I said"

She's like, "Whatever, I just don't want any liver."

Well I was gonna say something

But my cell phone started to ring

Now who could be callin' me?

Well, I checked my Caller ID

It was just cousin Larry callin' for the 3^rd time today

My wife said, "Let it go to voice mail"
I said, "Okay.

"Where were we? Oh, dinner, right. So what do you want to do?"

She says, "Why don't you whip up something in the kitchen."

"Yeah?" I said, "Why don't you?"

And then she says, "Baby can't we just go out to dinner, please?

I says, "No"

She says, "Yes"
I says, "No"
She says, "Yes"

I says, "No"

She says, "Yes, oh, here's your keys."

I step a little bit closer

And say, "Okay, where you wanna go?"

She says, "How about The Ivy?"

I said "Yeah well, I don't know

I don't feel like getting all dressed up and eatin' expensive food."

She says, "Olive Garden?"

I say, "Nah, I'm not in the mood

And Burrito King would make me gassy there's no doubt."

She says, "Just forget about it"

I say, "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out."

Then I get an idea

I say, "I know what we'll do"
She says, "What?"

I say, "Guess"

She says "WHAT?!"

I say "We're goin' to the drive-thru"

Then we head out the front door

Open the garage door

Then I open the car doors

And we get in those car doors

Put my key in the ignition

And then I turn it sideways

Then we fasten our seat belts

As we pull out the driveway

Then we drive to the drive-thru

Heading off to the drive-thru

We're approaching the drive-thru

Getting close to the drive-thru

Almost there at the drive-thru

Now we're here at the drive-thru

Here in line at the drive-thru

Did I mention the drive-thru?

Well, here we are in the drive-thru line, me and her

Cars in front of us, cars in back of us

All just waiting to order

There's some idiot in a Volvo

With his brights on behind me

I lean out the window and scream

"Hey what'cha trying to do, blind me?"

My wife says, "Maybe we should park, we could just go eat inside"

I said "I'm wearin' bunny slippers, so I aint leavin' this ride"
Now a woman on a speaker box is sayin, "Can I take your order please"

I said, "Yes, indeed, you certainly can

We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"

Then my wife says,

"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich instead this time"

I said, "You always get a cheeseburger"

She says, "That's not what I'm hungry for"

I put my head on my hands and scream,

"I don't know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the speaker says, "I don't have all day."

I said, "Then take our order and we'll be on our way.

I want a chicken sandwich, and I want a cheese burger too."

She's like, "You want onions on that?"

I'm like, "Yeah, I already said that I do

Plus we need curly fries, and don't you dare forget it

And two medium root beers.no, just one, we'll split it."

Then I said I'm guessing that you're probably not too bright

So read me back my order, let's make sure you got it right

She says,

"1.You want a chicken sandwich

2. You want a cheeseburger

3. Curly fries and a large root beet"

"Stop! Don't go no further

I never ordered a large root beer,

I said medium not large"

Then she says, "We're having a special, I super-sized you at no charge."

"Oh"

And that's all I could say was "Oh"

And she says, "Now there's something else

That I really think you should know:

You can have unlimited refills for just a quarter more."

I said, "Great, except we're in the drive-thru, so what would I want that for?"

Then she says, "Wait a minute.

Your voice sounds so familiar, hey is this Paul?"

And my wife is all like, "No that aint Paul. Now tell me who's this Paul?"

She said, "Oh, he's just some guy who goes to school with me

I sat behind him  last year and I copied off of him in geometry."

I said, "I know a guy named Paul, he use to be my plumber

He was prematurely bald and he moved to Pittsburgh last summer

He also had bladder problems and a really bad infection on his toe"

She's like, "Mister, please, you can stop right there,

That's way more then I needed to know."

And then we both were quiet

And things got real intense

And then she says,

"Next window please, that'll be five dollars and eighty-two cents"

So we inched ahead in line, moving painfully slow

I got a little bored, so I turned on the radio

("Black Dog" by Led Zeppelin plays)

Click - turned it off because my wife was getting a headache

So we both just sat there quietly, for her sake

Then I looked at her

And she looked back at me

And I said, "Um, I think you have something in your teeth"

She turned away from me and then turned back and said,

"Did I get it?"

I said, "Yeah.well, I mean, most of it.

But hey, you know don't sweat it."

Then she said, "How about now?"

I said "Yeah almost, there's still a little bit there,

But don't worry, It's probably just a piece of toast

Now we're at the pay window, or whatever you call it

Put my had in my pocket, I can't believe there's no wallet.

And the lady at the window's like,

"Well, well, well, that'll be $5.82"

I turn around to my wife and say, "How much have you got on you?"

She just rolls her eyes and says, "I'll pay for this, I guess"
So she reaches into her purse and busts out the American Express.

I hand it to the lady

And she says, "Oh dear, it's gotta be cash only

We don't take credit cards here.

I took back the card and said, "Gee, really? Well that sucks"

And that's when I found out my wife was only carrying three bucks

I said, "I thought you were gonna hit the ATM today?"

She says, "I never got around to it, so where's your wallet anyway?"

And I said, "Never mind, just help me find some change"

Now the lady at the window's looking at me kinda strange

And she says "Mister please, we got to move this line along"

I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady, we wont be long"

So I looked around inside the glove box

And checked the mat beneath my feet

I found a nickel in an ashtray

And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats

Before long I had a little pile of coins of every sort

The lady counts it up and says, "You're still about a dollar short"
And now my woman's got this weird look frozen on her face

She screams, "You know I wasn't even hungry in the first place!"

And so I turned around to the cashier again,

I shrugged and said "Okay, forget the chicken sandwich then"

So I pick up my change, pick up my reciept

And I drive to the pick-up window

Man, I just can't wait to eat

And now we see this acne-ridden kid, about 16

Wearin' a dorky name tag that says

"Hello, my name is Eugene"

And he hands me a paper bag

I look him in the eyes

And I say to him,

"Hey, Eugene could I get some ketchup for my fries."

Well he looks at me

And I look at him

And he looks at me

And I look at him

And he looks at me

And I look at him

And he says, "I'm sorry, what did you want again?"

I say, "Ketchup"

And he says, "Oh yeah, that's right

Just spaced out there for a second, I'm really kinda burnt tonight"

And then he hands we some ketchup

And now we're finally driving away

And the food is drivin' me mad with it's intoxicating bouquet

I'm starvin' to death by the time we pull up at the traffic light

I say, "Baby give me that burger, I just gotta have a bite"

So she reaches in the bag, and pulls out the burger

And she hands me the burger

And I pick up the burger

And then I unwrap the paper

I bite into those buns

And I just can't believe it,

They forgot the onions!